Throughout human history, there have always been unhealthy relationships between individuals. One of the traits of an unhealthy relationship is gaslighting. In this post, we’ll be looking at how to spot gaslighting in a relationship.
Gaslighting is when someone you’re in a relationship with tries to confuse you on purpose. This can make you feel like you’re stupid and not sure about your thoughts and feelings.
It’s of the utmost importance to know the signs of gaslighting to take care of yourself. Here’s how to spot gaslighting in a relationship.
1. Saying “I didn’t say that”:
When your partner says something and you take a mental note, only for them to deny ever saying it, it’s a telltale sign. This can not only make you doubt your memory but your sanity. Which is exactly what the person is more or less hoping to achieve.
2. It is always your fault:
Whenever something goes wrong, they will immediately blame you for it, even when it’s not your fault. They’ll never make an effort to stand up for you. This will make you feel like everything that goes wrong is your fault. This will destroy your self-confidence in the long term.
3. Your feelings don’t matter:
They do not take your feelings seriously and rarely if ever, listen to you. They might even make fun of your feelings, which will in turn make you feel like your feelings are not important. Over time, this will take a toll on your self-esteem.
4. Keeping secrets:
If you notice that your partner is hiding important information from you or fails to explain things clearly, it could be a sign that you’re being gaslit. You can notice this when their stories don’t add up and you’re only fed half-truths or outright lies. This could leave you feeling confused.
5. Saying one thing, doing another:
They might say something but then end up doing something completely different. This could leave you feeling confused and upset.
6. Accusing you of things that they do:
Sometimes they say you’re doing things or feeling things that they are doing or feeling. This is a way for them to distract you from their behavior. If you get accused that it’s all in your head, it probably isn’t and you’re being gaslit.
7. Making you doubt yourself:
Over time, they might make you feel less confident and unsure about yourself. You start to doubt your abilities and decisions.
8. Isolating you:
They might try to keep you away from your friends and family, so you rely on them more. This can make you feel trapped.
9. Ignoring you:
They might use the silent treatment to control you or make you feel bad. They could go days without seeing or speaking to you until you break and go begging to see them.
10. Ignoring your needs:
Your partner often ignores what you want or need, making you feel unimportant. This is a manipulation technique.
11. Playing mind games:
They use mind tricks to control situations and make you do what they want.
What you should do
If you think you’re in a relationship with someone who is gaslighting you and not taking the relationship seriously, remember to take care of yourself. Talk to a friend, family member, or therapist you trust.
It’s also important to think about whether this relationship is healthy and if it’s worth continuing. Remember that leaving a bad relationship is a good way to improve your emotional health. Your well-being should always come first.
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